However, it was helpfully provocative to give time to chewing over again how it is that we do church.

A constant frustration for me as a pastor is the way in which Christians so often seem to act in a way that is more in harmony with western culture than with biblical expectations of what it means to belong to the people of God. Part of the deal of belonging to the Crowded House is submitting any significant life decision to the counsel of the community; but, to be honest, I find it staggering that any believer should make such decisions (taking a new job, moving to a different town because of work, getting married, buying a house, etc., etc.) without first talking through the wisdom of such a decision within the context of Christian community. This is something I just do automatically. It is a natural outworking of being a disciple of Christ.

The individualism of western society means that many Christians do not naturally process things this way. The norms of our culture so often seem to exercise a greater authority than what is biblically normal. And so there is the pastoral frustration of people doing things and making decisions as though those actions had no impact or reference to the Christian community – although they always do.

A captivity to social norms is also displayed in the unthinking manner in which Christians can engage in behaviours that are fundamentally sinful. Take 50 Shades of Grey, for instance. I’ve seen enough reviews of this book to be aware of what it is, and what it generally gets described as is ‘mommy porn’ – it is not great literature or a clever exploration of human psychology, but pornography in the true sense of the word. (‘Pornography’ literally meaning writing about sexual immorality.) It is designed to arouse lust. So, clearly, it is not the kind of book that followers of Jesus should be reading. Clearly it is not the kind of book that is going to help a Christian, “set [her] mind on things that are above” (Col. 3:2). Rather, it reflects a culture where people have, “given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity” (Eph. 4:19).

Just because everyone is reading it doesn’t mean that everyone should read it! “That is not the way you learned Christ! – assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness” (Eph. 4:20-24).

So it has been with disappointment (though sadly without surprise) that I have learnt of Christian women not only reading 50 Shades but celebrating it. But carry the logic through: Because every man looks at porn does that mean it would be acceptable for me to look at porn? Of course not! Because everyone is fundamentally selfish does that make it ok for me to be fundamentally selfish? No! Because the crowd all say “Let’s do this!” does that make it appropriate for me to join with them? No way!

The way the saints of Jesus Christ are to live is not just a different shade of grey from how those who do not know Christ live. No, we, “as sojourners and exiles [are] to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against [our] soul” (1 Peter 2:11).

Being in our culture does mean we are in a war, and that means we need to stay arm in arm with our comrades. That doesn’t necessarily mean we’ll end up in the Crowded House, but it does mean we all need to take the Church much more seriously than perhaps we do.