Like Seth, I started training in BJJ a few months back, like him after several years of CrossFit, and resonate strongly with his experience. I’m 20 years older than him though, so my progress is most likely even slower, and more painful. Like him, I’ve become very familiar with very quickly being put in my place by more experienced practitioners. I’m the oldest guy at our gym, but that means nothing in terms of seniority. And every training session provokes the question of whether I really want to be doing this, or if I should give up and choose an easier option.

BJJ might not immediately seem an obvious place to learn discipleship lessons but, as Seth observes,

Seventy-five percent of people who start BJJ quit before they get a blue belt. Ninety-five percent never make it to black belt. A black belt is just a white belt who never quit. Likewise, a wise, holy, Christian man is just a new convert who never quit.

I’m too old to have any realistic hope of a black belt but, muscles and joints allowing, I hope to persevere longer than the 75 percent. And I definitely want to persevere into wisdom and holiness. While I’m doing so, there are some other discipleship lessons I can see in BJJ.

The need for physical contact
BJJ is a very up close and personal sport: sparring consists of rolling around on the mats for five minute rounds trying to submit one’s opponent. BJJ not only allows physical contact, it demands it. It is challenging for anyone with intimacy issues.

Many men both crave and fear physical intimacy – and not just of the sexual kind. In fact, one of our most significant problems is how we have confused sexual intimacy, which should be strictly contained and delineated, with the physical intimacy that should be much more part of daily life. Modern life tends to keep us physically separated from one another and there are many barriers to men, especially, expressing physical closeness. Contemporary concerns around safeguarding and appropriate behaviour can make men nervous about any kind of physical contact with others. More people than ever before live alone and might go days, if not weeks, without any kind of physical contact with another human being.

This is not healthy. Humans are made for touch and a lack of it can exacerbate anxiety, depression and other health issues. This was a significant problem during the covid lockdowns especially, but it is symptomatic of modern society generally.

Being married, having a family, two dogs, and being in a church, mean I benefit from more physical touch than many people. Hugs, handshakes and fist bumps are all very much part of my daily experience. BJJ provides a much more intense and confrontational version of that and I suspect it is one of the things that draws men to the sport.

Most people won’t choose to find the answer to a lack of physical contact by taking up BJJ but contact is still needed. Scripture exhorts us to, “Greet one another with a holy kiss”. Week by week we are meant to lay our hands on the sacrament, taking hold of the body and blood of Christ. Modern people can feel squeamish about these things but we need them. 

The need for challenge
Seth says that, “Men hate suffering but love having suffered. War stories, talking about how hard the workout was, and “back-in-my-day” sentimentality are all rooted in the desire to be someone who overcame something.” Many of us feel this intuitively but the world we inhabit has been designed to minimise hardship as far as possible. We have abundant food, heating and hot water, comfortable clothes. Relative to previous generations, certainly, our lives are remarkably struggle free.

Of course, it is not only BJJ that provides an outlet for the challenge our sedentary lives lack. Whether it is parkrun, cold water swimming, or any of the other numerous physical tests so many now engage in, we – men especially – have a need for challenge.

Christian discipleship doesn’t require working up a physical sweat but it does challenge our bodies. Learning to pray will often require learning the discipline of getting up earlier than we might naturally choose in order to ensure time with the Lord. Fasting is physically hard work as well as spiritually. Acts of service demand time and energy. Christian discipleship should challenge us in these kinds of areas. As Seth says,

Do you want to overcome yourself, walk the path of self-conquest, and discover the type of humility that comes from God himself? Repent and believe. Grace is a gift, yes, but you have to lose your life to find it.

And it might just be, for some of us at least, that BJJ can help bring that into focus.