Twenty-Five Bloggers in One Sentence Each image

Twenty-Five Bloggers in One Sentence Each

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Many people don't have the time to read more than one or two bloggers on a regular basis. But, it turns out, you don't really need to. Most of us say the same thing over and over again, with the incidentals tweaked according to the latest kerfuffle, as per the maxim, “if people don’t know what your passion is, you don’t have one.” So here, for the time-constrained among you, is a summary of what the major blogs I read (excluding the academic theology ones, which vary a bit more) say in virtually every post. You'll notice that the final entry is blank - hence the provision of a comments section ...

Carl Trueman: “No one after tasting Old Calvinism desires New, for he says, ‘the Old is better.’”

Scot McKnight: “Hey, here’s an interesting leftish quotation that I’m not going to comment on that much, but just park here ambiguously.”

Justin Taylor: “I am not ashamed of the Gospel Coalition.”

Tullian Tchividjian: “Lucky for you, all those bits of the Bible that tell you what to do are actually about the fact that you can’t do anything.”

Krish Kandiah: “Stop faffing around, and adopt a child, right now.”

Trevin Wax: “When I was a child, I used to argue on the Internet like a child; now that I’m mature, I have put childish ways behind me.”

Mike Bird: “You should all be Anglicans, but you can still be both biblically faithful and good-humoured about it, sport.”

Archbishop Cranmer: “You should all be Anglicans, and you can be as biblically unfaithful and bad-tempered as you like about it.”

Roger Olson: “Here’s why John Piper is wrong about everything.”

Desiring God: “Here’s why John Piper is right about everything.”

9Marks: “Here’s nine reasons why Baptists are right about everything.”

Kevin DeYoung: “Here’s seventeen reasons why the Westminster Confession was right about everything.”

Pete Enns: “Westminster? *!*!?@**.”

Denny Burk: “In a few years time, everyone in the world will be gay, so we need to be prepared for that.”

Al Mohler: “Right on, Denny - so here’s a few books about war.”

Peter Leithart: “I wouldn’t have a problem with Protestants if they were all like me.”

Steve Holmes: “Wait – I have a blog?”

Adrian Warnock: “You really, really can be a charismatic who loves the Bible, honestly (stop it, Benny!), you seriously can, really.”

R. R. Reno: “You’d think it was conservatives that didn’t like poor people, but it’s actually progressives, so ha.”

Doug Wilson: “Here’s a metaphor that’s bound to provoke the ire of the pomo feministas, and that’s kind of the point.”

Tim Challies: “All the other guys you’re reading are probably false teachers.”

Rachel Held Evans: “You go, girlfriend.”

Tim Challies again: “Especially her.”

Ben Witherington: “Tom Wright’s nine hundred and seventy-sixth page has a typo.”

Alastair Roberts: “Please forgive the long blog post; I didn’t have time to write a short one.”

Matt Anderson: “I have a new radio show, and I love Fred Sanders.”

Derek Rishmawy: “I have a new radio show, and I love Kevin Vanhoozer.”

Matt Hosier: “I was jogging round Poole Park the other day when I heard something on the radio that really got up my nose, so I decided to write about it.”

Liam Thatcher: “Here are some interesting biblical reflections that bear no relation whatever to the abstract photograph above this article (which, if I’m honest, I cannot identify with any certainty).”

Jennie Pollock: “Andrew Wilson can’t count to twenty-five.”

Andrew Wilson: [insert summary below. What else is the comment section for, if not this?]