You are like a mouse-dropping in the pepper!
“You are so stupid that it makes one feel like vomiting.”
“You are spiritual scarecrows and monk calves”
“There you are, like butter in sunshine”
and a personal favourite:
“You are a toad eater and a fawner”
I can hardly wait to see their faces!
More than rhetorical devices and sermon gimmicks though, the insults of Luther have been a much needed tonic to my soul. You see, I’ve noticed of late that I’ve been feeling a little too good about myself. Let’s be honest, for those of us who possess superior intellects, looks, charm and winsomeness, pride is an ever-present danger! So I was thrilled to discover this little website where Luther’s greatest hits of insults have been lovingly compiled. Whenever I feel a little giddy on self-esteem, with a single click I can receive a personal insult that will remind me of my wretchedness and instil humility back into my life.
I highly recommend the Lutheran Insulter. Bookmark it. Cherish it. Take one a day; first thing in the morning. Look yourself in the mirror and declare “You are the devil’s donkey!” I guarantee, within a month or so you will be an altogether different person.
Now if only someone would take the time to create a ‘Driscollian Insulter’…