Whilst I applaud Andrew for his adaptability and the breadth of his creative endeavours (presumably we can soon expect an album of folk songs, a clothing range, a fragrance, and an adult colouring book?) I must confess to being a little irked by this particular project, for two reasons.

Firstly, a story about a theologically astute furred creature. Wherever do you think he got the inspiration for that? And yet, did I receive any credit, or thanks? Was the book dedicated to me? The answer, dear reader, is no.

But secondly, and most egregiously, I can’t help but feel that this book has been directly plagiarised. Only a few years ago, I pitched an idea to a publisher to create a series of children’s books in which cute, illustrated animals discuss important theological themes. I never heard back from them, despite regular letters, emails, calls, texts, tweets, Facebook posts, WhatsApps, faxes, pages, myspace messages, carrier pigeons and suchlike. I assumed they were disinterested, but now it has become clear to me that they were dodging my various methods of communication, since they intended to pass on my ideas to a rival author.

I understand that Dr. Wilson is a far more marketable writer than I. He has more connections in the human world than I do. When was the last time you saw an otter grace the stage at a national conference, or write a piece for The Gospel Coalition? But still, I consider this to be unacceptable.

Since 1 Corinthians 6 forbids me to take out a lawsuit against my blogger-in-Christ, I shall be forced to be the bigger mammal, and turn the otter cheek. But rest assured, I have not given up on my dreams, and if anything this has made me more determined to publish my books than ever before.

So I am proud to announce that I will soon begin taking pre-orders for the first three instalments in my new children’s series:

Confessions of Augustine the Hippo – The tale of a thick-skinned beast, who experienced a radical conversion and renounced his life of wallowing in the mud-pools of sin.

Karl Bark’s Dog-Matics – A multi-volume work, in which Professor Bark explains the essentials of Christian faith to a selection of his canine chums.

Five Hoofs for God’s Existence by Thomas Equine-as – A theologically-savvy horse, with a colt following, shows the foal-ishness of atheism, and how Jesus is the answer for a stable life.

These books will all be beautifully illustrated by the paws of yours truly. Suitable for children aged 4-8 years (so long as they have at least a basic grasp of Greek and Hebrew). And readers of Think Theology will receive a 25% discount by entering the code: WILSONCATASTROPHE

With love,
+S.S.S.+