Things #ThingsJesusNeverSaid Never Said image

Things #ThingsJesusNeverSaid Never Said

Just as it was in the days of Noah—or was it?—so it will be exactly the opposite in the days of the Son of Man. They were eating and marrying and being given in marriage (except they weren't, because we all know that story is an ancient myth, but leave that for now), until the day when Noah entered the ark, and the flood came and destroyed them all (as if!); the Son of Man, on the other hand, wouldn't hurt a fly.

Likewise, just as it was in the days of Lot—they were eating and drinking, buying and selling, planting and building, but on the day when Lot went out from Sodom, fire and sulphur rained from heaven and destroyed them all (except, you know, ancient narrative)—so it will be the exact opposite of that when the Son of Man is revealed. If you want an analogy, it will be less like Sodom and more like Woodstock, with less weed.

On that day, let the one who is on the housetop, with his goods in his house, chill out, and likewise let the one who is in the field turn back if he’s forgotten something. And whatever you do, don’t remember Lot’s wife. People don’t turn into pillars of salt, and the God revealed in Jesus certainly doesn’t do things like that for simply facing the wrong direction.

Whoever seeks to preserve his life will preserve it, and whoever loses his life will lose it. We should put that on a mug or something.

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