Holy Snacks: A Mea Culpa
I am saddened and somewhat embarrassed about this; firstly because I rather enjoyed the flavour during its short spell on our shelves, but more importantly because I must shoulder part of the blame, since I was the brainchild behind it.
Please believe me, I hadn’t intended to cause offence. In fact, in the early stages of branding I even dropped the slogan ‘Most Highly Flavoured Lady’ fearing that it might be deemed too provocative! It was simply intended as an innocuous gesture; an act of reverence.
You see, the poor Virgin Mary often finds her face imprinted in mildew, condensed windows, burnt pieces of toast or cloud formations. I just thought it would make a nice change for her to be commemorated in a popular snack form. In much the same way that ‘Cheeto Jesus’ (or ‘Cheesus’, if you will) has brought a smile to the faces of many across the internet, I hoped that this small gesture might encourage and edify the average consumer of fatty snacks.
Alas, it appears my attempt to influence culture – being Salt and Light through Salt and Potatoes – was ill-advised. To prevent further offence, I am announcing the immediate withdrawal of the other items in the range, including: Simon Pitta Bread, Abra-Ham Sandwich, Adam’s Apple Pie and Solom‘en croute.