Help, Mum! image

Help, Mum!

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My quiver overfloweth with arrows, if you know what I mean. And as a parent, I’m always keen to find material that will help me instil good Reformed theology into the little otterlings.

Until now I’ve been a great fan of the Teddy Wonders series, which seeks to communicate the work of Jonathan Edwards (Teddy) through the beautifully illustrated adventures of a loveable bear.

My favourite has to be Teddy Wonders: Why are we Here? – a brilliant yarn, in which Teddy goes on a picnic and talks with the woodland creatures about his thoughts ‘concerning the end for which God created the world.’ A close second is Teddy Wonders: Is God Soft and Cuddly? in which Teddy accidentally drops one of his toys down a well, which leads him to ponder what it would be like for sinners to fall into the hands of an angry God. (This one comes with a free CD, with a brilliantly apocalyptic re-working of ‘He’s got the whole world in his hands.’)

But now a new series has arrived on the scene, which is set to send Teddy back to his woodland hole, whimpering at his inadequacy! And here is the first instalment: Help, Mom! There are Arminians Under my Bed!

Packed full of knights, castles, adventures and tulips, this is an outstanding allegory to teach children the doctrines of grace. Some of the reviews on Amazon are well worth reading:

We bought this for our three boys, Beza, Calvin, and Van Till! They loved every minute of this book! Buying this book will root my children in a holy fear of the Arminian heresy!!! The joy they got out of this book made me almost as happy as when little Calvin started quoting the Institutes, little Van Till argued for the existence of God by assuming He existed, and little Beza threw rocks at that Methodist kid in his class! I know that God has predestined them to great things!!! I am so proud of my three little supralapsarians!!!

I highly recommend this book to anyone who has theologically-minded children! And by anyone I mean anyone in the whole world… And by whole world, I mean the elect. I love the colourful illustrations, and all bible references were in the ESV, which was nice. This is a great story for reformed children between the ages of 4-12, but would also be appropriate for pre-teen Dispensationalists and adult Pelagians.

I wholeheartedly concur. And I am thrilled to announce that I have been asked to contribute a couple of future titles to the series. I shall, of course, insist that ‘mom’ is spelt correctly going forward. But here are the first few books I am working on for future publication:

Help, Mum! There are Dispensationalists Laying Piles of Clothes by my Bed to Make me Think I Missed the Rapture!

Help, Mum! There are Prosperity Preachers Under my Bed – and I can’t get to Sleep Because of the Light Emanating from their Dazzling Teeth!

And of course…

Help, Dad! There are Egalitarians Under my Bed and Mum Doesn’t Have the Authority to do Anything About Them!

I hope you will find these books useful in instructing your children. Any suggestions for further titles, gratefully received. Either put them here in the comments or tweet them to @ststuffedshirt. In so doing, you relinquish all rights to the idea, and I don’t owe you a penny.

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