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Biblimatic Theology

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Having endured for years Andrew and Matt's squabbling about the priority of Biblical or Systematic theology, I decided to do something about it. So I hereby announce that this autumn, I hope to publish my latest tome, seeking to bridge the divide. Taking the best bits of both practices and blending them up, I have concocted a delicious and nutritious hybrid smoothie. I call it: Biblimatic Theology.

I genuinely feel I have managed to concoct something that is capable of healing this rift and silencing these two forevermore. And if not, at least it might put some royalties in the coffers!

As a concession to Biblical Theologians (BTians) I preface each chapter of my book with pedantic caveats like, ‘Assuming for a moment that we are not asking the wrong question…’ I have also crafted my own translation of the Bible (which will be available for preorder soon), in which I have meticulously arranged every verse into exact biblical-theological-chronological-redemption-historical order. Each passage I cite in my Biblimatic Theology has an elongated reference modelled on Wright’s ‘Five Act Play’. This unique system is designed to help you find the exact context of any verse within the overarching story. For example: (Act 3, Scene 2, Line 86. Judges 5:2). I’ve also added the odd stage direction from time to time. I could not resist the thespian inside me.

To appease STians I have included copious bullet points, a shed-load of extra-biblical jargon, and nifty little pop-out boxes with “thoughts from a church father” each written in first person. They were a hoot to write!

Additionally, my Biblimatic Theology and the accompanying Bible translation, will be fashioned in the style of the Choose Your Own Adventure series. Each sub-section will end with various options for how the reader can progress. (If you’re a STian, turn to page 241 / If you’re a BTian, turn to page 197 / if you’re a Progressive, turn wherever your mood takes you). This should provide endless hours of enjoyment, meaning that each reader will enjoy the book in the manner most fitting with their preconceptions. And the daring amongst us may even wish to follow the path of their theological opposite, to put themselves in the shoes of someone who reads the Bible differently.

To put it in cartographical terms, this is neither an A-Z nor a Tube Map. It’s a theological equivalent of this geographically accurate map of the London Underground.

My hope is that my Biblimatic Theology will (a) Make a ground-breaking contribution to the world of theology, (b) Settle the Wilson-Hosier debate once and for all and (c) Sell in vast quantities, hopefully earning a reward in the process.

+S.S.S.+

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